


Just Perfect

by mggislife2789



Category: Criminal Minds, Spencer Reid - Fandom
Genre: Adoption, Anxiety, F/M, Olanzapine, Withdrawal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-19
Updated: 2017-01-19
Packaged: 2018-09-18 11:48:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9383627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mggislife2789/pseuds/mggislife2789
Summary: Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters or their original stories. This is only for fun. It's where my brain goes after the credits roll. No copyright intended. Better safe than sorry ;)





	

Finally, the conversation was over - the one you were dreading. Thankfully, you’d had no reason to be nervous. After three years together, you both knew you wanted to be together forever; you wanted the whole nine yards - the marriage, the house, the white picket fence, and the kids - but kids warranted a discussion - one that could have pulled you apart forever.

Ever since you were a teenager, you’d been prone to anxiety and as it worsened, it started turning into an eating disorder as well. If you were feeling anxious, you didn’t want to eat much, and you felt anxious most of the time in one way or another. Shortly after you were diagnosed with ARFID, you were put on Olanzapine, which had successfully treated your problem. Problem was, it altered prolactin levels in the body, which was a good thing and a bad thing, bad because it made it more difficult to have children biologically. 

When the topic of having children came up, you remember feeling nervous that Spencer wouldn’t be on the same page. You didn’t want to lose him. “You do want kids, right?” he’d asked.

“I do,” you replied. “I absolutely do, but I don’t think I’ll be able to have them naturally. The Olanzapine makes it very tricky to carry a pregnancy to term and I don’t think I can go off it, at least not right now. My doctor said it takes a long time to wean off of it, even if he did want me to come off of it, and I’ve been on it for so long.”

He came up behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you close. “I wouldn’t want you to come off of it unless you were comfortable with it. I could never ask you to go through what you went through last time.”

“God, no,” you shivered, remembering the time before you’d met Spencer when you tried to get off of it. During those two weeks or so, before you decided you couldn’t stand it anymore and started taking it again, your anxiety came back full force. Along with it, came biting your cuticles, which you did so incessantly your fingers had started to bleed, sweating, which was so intense you’d wake up at night in a pool of your own making, clenching of your jaw, which started to make your teeth hurt, and even sleep problems. You were a complete wreck, losing nearly 10 pounds in two weeks because your eating disorder started acting up again, and you were on edge nearly all the time. That had only been two weeks - nearly ten months of that? You couldn’t do it to yourself - it wouldn’t be good for your would-be baby anyway, even if you could get through it yourself. “Coming off of it can’t happen right now.”

“I would never ask you to,” he replied, turning you around and cradling your face in his hands.

“But ya know,” you started, thinking back to your childhood. “I’ve been thinking about Shane. He was adopted. After my parents had me, they decided they wanted to adopt their next child and I ended up with the best brother in the entire world. There are so many babies and children out there that are looking for homes. What if we adopted them?”

“All of them?” he laughed, pressing a small kiss to your lips.

You smiled against his mouth. “Yes, all of them please. I would love to be able to do for a baby what my parents did for Shane. Would you be okay with that? With adopting?”

“Of course I would be,” he replied, taking his hand and combing it through your locks. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Well,” you shrugged, explaining your worries about having this conversation to begin with, “I figured you’d want to have your own. You know, spread your genius around, but I just can’t do it. I’m sorry.”

“You do not have to be sorry for keeping yourself safe, Y/N,” he responded, closing his eyes and kissing you on the forehead. “Before I met you, I will admit, I imagined having kids one day and adoption wasn’t necessarily a thought, but then I met you.” He smiled, taking your hand as you started dancing in the kitchen. “If you didn’t want kids at all, that would be one thing, but you still do, and I want you - for the rest of my life.”

“I want you too,” you said, the tears in your eyes unexpected. 

As they fell, Spencer kissed them away, continuing to dance you around the kitchen, practically stepping on your feet as he did so. “Plus, with my family history it’s probably for the best that I don’t.”

You had thought about that. He hated seeing his mother the way he did, so watching a child go through it might just kill you both. “So you don’t think you’ll feel bad about not having a child that’s biologically related to you?” You just needed to make sure that he was absolutely certain. You didn’t want any resentment to come back to haunt you later. 

“No,” he smiled confidently. “I want you, and I want a family with you, so if adoption is the way that happens, that’s fine by me. Plus, when it comes to intelligence, did you know that it’s also very much influenced by the environment a child grows up in? It’s not just about genetics.”

“So you’re saying we might have a genius baby anyway?” you laughed. The thought of a mini-Spencer running around the place filled you with indescribable joy. He nodded his head and for the next few minutes, you just danced around the kitchen, feeling lighter than air now that the conversation had been had. 

That conversation was a few months ago and ever since, you had talked about adopting - about the nursery you’d decorate, whether you’d adopt a girl or a boy, maybe you’d adopt two kids, maybe even a baby and an older child, which you’d also talked about- you had no idea. But the possibilities were endless. 

Just as you got lost in a daydream, Spencer returned home from work, an enormous smile adorning his face. “I’ve been thinking about the adoption thing,” he started, shrugging his coat off and taking a pamphlet out of the pocket, “what if we we’re to go here?”

When he handed you the paper, your lip started to quiver and quickly your eyes stung with tears. It was the adoption agency your parents had gotten your brother from - they’d grown even larger in the last 30 years. After wiping the tears away and watching the smile play across your face, he continued. “The agency is a great agency, which you obviously already know and I figured that when they need a reference, when they want someone to write a bit about why we’d be good adoptive parents, we could ask Shane. Wouldn’t that be amazing?”

“It would,” you wept happily. “I know he’d love to write one for us and I bet the older employees at the agency that were there when he was adopted would love to know how he’s done in life.” You stood up and pressed a tear-stained kiss to his lips, allowing the tears to fall without a care as you looked up at him. “We’ve been talking so much about the act of adopting that I never even thought about where we would go. This is perfect.”

“I think so too,” he muttered against your forehead. “Just like our family will be.”


End file.
